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Today sucked.

Adam is living in Poland now. *Wibble*

Airport!Quiznos didn't have tuna.

My iPod has reduced its battery life from two hours to two minutes.

My wedding shoes are three sizes too small and I'd have to totally Rogers and Hammerstein Cinderella my heel to fit in them.

I had to talk to a stranger on the phone.

Clio puked.

Ryan's at the library. Still.

But really...

The most terrifying part of the day...

Dad changed the radio station when "Do Wah Diddy" came on.

Isn't that a sign of the Apocalypse?

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I woke up this morning, and on the ten foot trip from the bed to the bathroom I ran into the wall four times. My sense of balance is so completely whacked out it's like I'm on my own personal tilt-o-whirl. When I sit there's just a faint spinning going on in the front of my head, but when I stand - I feel as if someone popped some quarters in a magic-fingers bed. Not that I would know what that feels like. Totally hypothesizing here.

I've taken to walking like a bowlegged cowboy in order to keep myself grounded (when Ryan tossed his hat on my head the resemblance was uncanny). It's been a good five hours now, and I was hoping whatever this was would cure itself, but so far no luck.

Maybe I just wasn't supposed to wake up today?

I'm debating going to the store. Should you operate heavy machinery while on spin-cycle?

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...sorta. But WoW and EQ2 are totally interchangable in this instance.



Ps. Isn't she hot? You can totally see why she's my tv girlfriend, right?

ETA: OMG it's Stargate: Atlantis! How can people not know that?!?

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So, I was discussing with Ryan a discovery I had a few weeks ago: for me, small talk = lying. I have exceeded my allowance of little white lies at the checkout counter alone.

Checker: "Cooking is just so relaxing, isn't it?"
Allie: "Oh, yes, it's fantastic!"

Checker: "Isn't the rain horrible?"
Allie: "It's disgusting, really!"

I'm like a bobblehead doll that agrees with everything anyone says to me. And not only do I agree -- I expand.

Checker: "Don't you just love celery?"
Al: "It's my favorite green. The crunch it makes when you bite into it -- so satisfying. And really, what can't you put celery in?"

WTH? Do I like celery? Only doused in dressing. Do I know what you can or cannot put celery in? NO. I am such a tool.

But, after talking this over with Ryan, I have made a concerted effort not to be such a yes girl.

But, but... when the doorbell rings and it's a pair of Mormons -- what am I supposed to do?

"No, I don't want a picture of Jesus, thanks."

"No, I haven't found god, but really I don't have the time to go looking."

"No, I'm perfectly content without a seat at the table of the universe."

"No, I don't want help with my yard - brown was an aesthetic choice."

Ugh. Anyone want a picture of Jesus? I have a spare.

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So, tonight I made pasta salad and turkey sandwiches, sliced an apple and threw everything (artistically) on plates. Both Lauren and Ryan proceeded to 'oo' and 'ah' and say, "Allie, this is so great! You didn't have to do this!"

The fact that they felt the need to give that much praise for my water boiling and cheese slicing skills reflects poorly on my culinary prowess, right?

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