I read this terrible, terrible series of books that posited that if you are skilled at something in life, should you be turned into a vampire that skill would become a superpower.

If I were a vampire? My power would be Baby Hearing. Of course, I would have all eternity to come up with a better name than that for it, but you get the general idea.

I will wake from a dead sleep if Cael loses his pacifier in the night, but Ryan's alarm doesn't stir me.

I can hear Cael whimper from across the house with the television on and the dishwasher running, but I can't hear my cell phone ring in my bag.

Today I heard Cael whine when I was vacuuming three rooms away.

I imagine this will come into play later in the poor boy's life. I foresee a lot of me yelling, "I heard that!" across the house.

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Cael had poop coming out his sleeves.

And these are the "leak free" diapers. A likely story.

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Okay, Giuliani. If you want to look at the candidates' resumes, you have to look at the entire thing. After all, who would hire someone for such an important job without looking at educational background?

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Obama:
Occidental College - Two years.
Columbia University - B.A. political science with a specialization in international relations.
Harvard - Juris Doctor (J.D.) Magna Cum Laude

& Biden:
University of Delaware - B.A. in history and B.A. in political science.
Syracuse University College of Law - Juris Doctor (J.D.)

vs.

McCain:
United States Naval Academy - Class rank 894 of 899

& Palin:
Hawaii Pacific University - 1 semester
North Idaho College - 2 semesters - general study
University of Idaho - 2 semesters - journalism
Matanuska-Susitna College - 1 semester
University of Idaho - 3 semesters - B.A. in journalism

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The crowd laughed at "community organizer." I imagine they would have absolutely bust a gut at 894/899. Now that's comedy.

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We have this neighbor - let us call him Spike.

Apparently an expert in all things garden and house maintenance, Spike takes it upon himself to teach Ryan how to better take care of our home. Or, perhaps "teach" is the wrong word. It's more like he leans over the fence and verbally bashes Ryan's gardening approach, criticizing every little thing Ryan does in our yard. From raking leaves to removing the ivy to cleaning the gutters, Ryan has got it all wrong. Spike once even went so far as to say that if Ryan were his employee, Spike would have him fired.

Needless to say, Ryan tries to avoid going outside when Spike is milling about. It's best to sidestep a situation that would involve Ryan showing Spike how he can properly use a pitchfork.

The most priceless part of this whole thing? I was google mapping today and found that there is now a street view of our house. You can't see much of anything other than our driveway, but there is a beautiful shot of Spike's behind as he leans over our fence to survey Ryan's handwork.

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Rumor has it some of you play the other video on a loop. He doesn't do too much more in this one, but I'm sure I can find some footage of him drooling if you're looking for variety.



Notice the shirt? Today he moved on to his 6 month clothes. He has grown from his "Mommy Loves Me" onesie to a new and more possessive "Property of Mom FOREVER." His 9 month shirt reads, "I LOVE MY MOM AND NO ONE ELSE. DON'T BOTHER TRYING TO TAKE ME FROM HER." Yes, all in capslock. It makes it more threatening that way, no?

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My hopes have been shattered. Instead of the fist sucking turning into thumb sucking, it has turned into dual fist-sucking. I'm wondering if he's going to be able to stick his whole arm in there at some point.

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