Shamu Shop

I’m willing to guess that the ratio of stores to exhibits in Sea World leans largely in favor of stores. Each time you enter a darkened tunnel to survey the not-so-wild life you are motored through, told not to dawdle and promptly discarded in to the gift shop. And by “the” gift shop, I mean the penguin shop, the dolphin shop, the arctic shop, the Shamu shop, the shark shop. It is a 100% guarantee that if you just walked through the polar bears you will soon be faced with their fuzzy, beanbag miniatures. The children’s water park even has a children’s water apparel shop adjacent (in case you left your water-wings at home). There are shops by the restaurants that sell platters, glasses and assorted kitchen paraphernalia (in case … yeah, no clue). It’s quite obscene really. I’m surprised I made it out alive.

As Ryan and I walked through the gauntlet of Shamu miniatures at the “Shamu Shop” we wondered what might happen if Shamu were to pass on to the great blue beyond. Would they tell us? It seems like something the public has a right to know – but at the same time you have to wonder… what would happen to the sea of black and white plush? Would they dispose of it? Would they rename it? Would people want to buy paraphernalia riddled with the name of a dead orca? My guess is no.

Instead, the Sea World trainers would tearfully gather under the cover of night at the ocean shore as a giant crane lifted the gigantic hunk of blubber onto a makeshift raft. They would start the clap that is woefully choreographed and toss a match, igniting the pyre in a traditional Viking burial. Then they would return to work the next day to face the remaining whales. Through their tear-swollen faces they would be forced to decide which one can be spray painted to most resemble their beloved predecessor.

That was what we assumed, of course, until we were introduced to Shamu’s offspring. That’s right… the untrained calf in the middle of the pool is none other than… Shamu!

Shamu and Shamu.

So if I call Sea World and ask to talk to Shamu – which one would they put on the phone?