...Um...

Oh... my... god.... I'M ALIVE!!!

Just thought I'd let you all know.

Found my cell phone in the cubby today. I think it had been in there for somewhere around two weeks. Interestingly enough I only had two missed calls. I'll take that to mean that you all are aware of my phonephobia and don't want to put the effort into calling me when odds are I will hide under the bed until the ringing stops.

Well, lets see... what am I up to? I'm the Art Director for a film that may or may not actually happen. And, um... I'm a skilled relaxer. I think that should be a profession. I, my dear readers, would be highly qualified.

Hmm... I think I'll go off on a tangent now.

When I think of my elementary school Music Teacher, I think of various things. First of all, she is the only person I have ever known that is literally shaped like a triangle. Really, she is. Hips from coast-to-coast and the tiniest little ankles you've ever seen. She'd always wear stretch-pants too. The ones with stirrups. And sweaters with balls of yarn on them...

I also remember that she lived next to Stephanie. And man, did she hate Stephanie. Steph knew it too - and the dislike was definitely mutual. One time Stephanie convinced me that we should do something mean to Ms. Russem (Russom? Come on, I was in third grade... like I'm supposed to know how to spell her name). So what did we do? We put poop in a bag on her doorstep. Or, you know... faux-poo. Some odd concoction of Hersey's Syrup and cocoa powder. (That's the kind of criminal mind I have.)

But what really sticks out about Ms. Triangle is that she had a very limited repertoire as far as the songs she taught the kids. So, in my three years at McKinley Elementary School I sang the same damn songs year after year.

"Child of the Universe, let your spirit fly (ay, ay). You are the chosen one to try and touch the sky."

That's the chorus. Yap. It's a winner.

But what I've been singing in my head non-stop for the last few hours are the lyrics to one of the verses.

"I am only a grain of sand, tossed by water and wind... but there are many grains of sand... where do I fit in?"

It's almost poetic. You know, except the lame chords and the isosceles conductor I just can't stop picturing. Oh - and the strong stench of cheddar.

For those of you who have not heard -- Ryan and I have decided to move back to Salem. (Come on, that was a transition. We're grains of sand -- get it?!?)

Giving up? Maybe. Failed? Perhaps. You could look at it any way... and I suppose people will.

Some people have told us that we've had more success in a year than others have in ten. I believe it. We've done a lot. Worked on television, movies, commercials... behind the scenes, in front of the camera... I think we've seen most of the business. Enough of it to have a pretty solid grasp on what lies ahead.

And, in the end, a future in Los Angeles doesn't look like the one we want. Yeah, ideally Ryan would become a famous movie star so we could live in Oregon and he'd fly south for work. But even as I'm typing that... it doesn't sound so ideal.

Turns out we're not city-folk. Not happy in the mess of things. And the business too... we've found we're not as cutthroat, not as relentless. Not because we can't be, but because we don't want to be.

Truthfully, we always pictured ourselves ending up in a town like Salem. And it was fun to move away and experience Los Angeles... cause if we didn't we'd always wonder about what we missed. I think it's safe to say we know what we'd miss and we're okay with that now...

Except, of course ... Loren, Dave and Tim. OMG I WILL MISS YOU!

[/begins forming evil plan to make them move to Salem]