Finn:  But Mom!  I wanted to see a real tow truck!

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Tonight we started the much-awaited sequel to the chapter book we'd been reading for a few weeks.

Book 2 begins with a prologue - a flashback to when the protagonists (four young sisters) were four years younger.  In it, the then-eight-year-old girl describes when the three oldest girls go to the gift shop of the hospital that their mother is in, having delivered their baby sister a week earlier.  The mother is still in the hospital because she's ill with cancer.  The girls were given some money to spend, but instead of buying gifts for themselves, they pool all their resources together to buy their mother a necklace with five hearts on it.  One heart represents each daughter, and the big one in the center is their mother.

They give the mother the necklace and a week later she dies.

I'm reading this aloud, trying so hard not to cry, but completely failing.  There's a moment of silence while I sniffle and prepare to begin chapter one.  Before I can get myself together, Finn asks:

"Wait, she died right after they gave her the necklace?"

"Yes," I say, readying myself to console him.  "A few days after."

He makes a scrunchy face and says, completely appalled, "Why did they waste all their money!?"

Way to zero in on the real tragedy, buddy.

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It seems Ryan and I have been exceptionally convincing in our conversion to vegetarianism - so much so that we've created little environmentalists.

Finn and Cael decided they wanted their dad to make a law to make eating meat illegal so that we can save the planet and not consume so many natural resources.  When I explained to them that was not something Ryan is in a position to do, they asked who gets to make laws.

They now both want to grow up and become congressmen for the express purpose of outlawing meat.  Cael decided that expecting people to give up meat completely is too ambitious and he wants to make it so people can only eat a little meat.  Finn, on the other hand, is very firm in his zero meat policy.

Mama:  So you're okay with being a vegetarian now?
Finn:  Not yet. When I grow up.
Mama:  When you grow up you're going to make meat illegal but for now you still want to eat it?
Finn:  Yeah.  I really like chicken nuggets.

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In my life, I have not had much success in committing to things that involve willpower.  The low-carb diet, for example, lasted one week and involved so many tears that when I finally caved I could boil an entire pot of pasta without running the tap.  

I have tried, and failed, to give up drinking soda so many times that I can't even count.  Unlike Lauren and Dad who decide things and they happen, I decide things and then they don't.  But it doesn't stop me from trying!  So here's my latest venture.

I am currently in a no-soda period, which is assisted by the fact that I will not let myself buy it at the grocery store and I ran out at home.  No soda to drink = no soda consumed.  Foolproof.  Unfortunately, if I'm not drinking soda, I'm not staying awake past 2 PM unless I have some form of caffeine.  In lieu of intravenously injecting straight chocolate  (which is obviously the most appealing choice) I have been drinking tea.  Lots of tea.  I am drinking about six cups of tea right when I wake up and let me tell you - I HAVE ENERGY.  Energy and some weird zest for life that motivates me to scrub the toilets and sinks but does not extend to making dinner or cleaning the fish tank.

While under the influence of tea, I had an epiphany: we should be vegetarians!  It would be good for the planet!  I would be good for our bodies!  It would be good for the animals!  It would be good for our budget!  

Finn and Declan don't actually eat much meat anyway.  When we have hot dogs, they just eat the buns.  When we have tacos, they have cheese quesadillas.  When we have pot pie, they have biscuits.  When we have turkey sandwiches, they have peanut butter.  I figured at least these two would be on board, so it was just Ryan and Cael I had to convert.

Ryan was instantly on board because he thinks knows I'm amazing and all my ideas are stellar.  Cael was also an enthusiastic convert - so much so that he would not participate in the first part of becoming a vegetarian: eat all the meat in the freezer because we paid for that and it is going to be consumed, damn it.

Finn and Declan, however, are not fans.  It turns out even though they only eat meat once every few weeks, they are very, very attached to that particular meal.  

Finn has declared that he is going to move to a different family that will let him eat chicken nuggets.

Pretty soon it's going to dawn on him that vegetarians don't eat bacon, and there's a good chance he'll show up at one of your houses with a knapsack full of Angry Birds toys and Star Wars tshirts.

Just take him to the nearest McDonalds and you'll have a Finn for life.

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Finn: Mama, I want to grow up fast so I can be old enough to marry you.

[ten minutes later]

Finn: Mama, when you die can I have your phone?

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Finn:  Mama, who's picking up Cael today?
Me:  We are.
Finn:  Are we walking or driving?
Me:  Walking.
Finn: [whining] Why?
Me:  Because it's good for us and good for the planet.
Finn:  Then why did they invent cars?

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Grandma and Grandpa took Finn to the Nutcracker! He was reportedly "well-behaved, curious, attentive, and engaged" - and from his enthusiasm when he got home, I believe it.

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• Instead of "you're welcome" he says, "deh-dum" and it's the most adorable thing ever.
• Actually the most adorable thing ever is that he refers to Cael and Finn as "my boys"
• No, I lied, the most adorable thing ever is when he doesn't want a kiss or a hug or something and you give it to him anyway he'll slap his stomach and say, "I take it back to you!"

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Despite a great deal of trepidation (read: tears, screaming, hysterics) in the weeks leading up to this moment, Cael was excited and positive this morning.  He was a champ!  Before he and Ryan left to walk to school, Cael gave Finn a hug and told him a 'secret.'  He whispered, "I had a good summer with you, Finn."  And Finn whispered back, "I had a good summer with you, too."

... and that's when I started crying.

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Finn: Mama, do you want me to tell you who my best friend is?
Allie: Yes!  I'd love to know!
Finn: [whispers] Lily.
Allie:  Lily?
Finn:  Uh huh.
Allie:  I don't know Lily.  Is she very nice?
Finn:  Yes.
Allie:  Do you talk to her a lot?
Finn:  No, she doesn't even look at me.
Allie:  She doesn't talk to you or look at you but you're best friends?
Finn: Uh huh!
Allie:  Why's that?
Finn:  Because I love, love, love her.

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Finn "reading" a birthday invitation:

"Come to Nora's birthday party.  Or Nora will beat you."

The invite didn't mention any forms of abuse.  (I double-checked.)  I guess it was just implied. 

Girl's serious about her presents, yo.

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Finn absolutely adores Declan.  Cael tolerates him, and can be helpful if I ask him to be, but Finn seeks him out.  He frequently makes it his personal goal to get Declan to laugh and smile and almost always succeeds.  Sometimes Finn just walks up to Declan and gives him a big hug or asks to hold him.  I assume it will eventually evolve into the "Mom, he's touching me!" relationship, but until then it's pretty adorable.

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Allie: Cael, why are you taking off your pants?
Cael: Because I have to dance!

*Twenty minutes later*

Allie: Finn, why are you taking off your diaper?
Finn: [pees on the carpet]

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Finn: [Indistinct babbling]
Cael: Finn says, "Dada."
Finn: [Indistinct babbling]
Cael: Finn says, "Yooka hooka!"

It's so much clearer now.

--

Finn: [Indistinct babbling]
Cael: No, Finn. You can't have the monkey.
Finn: [Indistinct babbling]
Cael: No, Finn!
Finn: [Indistinct babbling]
Cael: I'm going to put it over here.
Finn: [Indistinct babbling]
Cael: You can't have it!

Finn never actually crossed the room to Cael or stopped to look up from the toy he was playing with, but apparently he voiced his interest in stealing the monkey.

Turns out Finn has plenty of unpleasant and aggressive things to say. Cael is constantly having to go on the defensive! Poor baby.

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