TiVo. And they expect me to go back to regular TV? Nuh uh! This thing is the best invention since fanfiction. Never have I been so entertained. I watch what I want to watch, when I want to watch it and I don't have to sit through commercials? Sign me up! Uh, I mean... let me get a job first, and then perhaps an apartment... and a television... and some extra cash - then sign me up! Woo hoo!

This is a reminder to all the world - like you needed one - that the Alias Premiere is Wednesday, January 5th from 9pm to 11pm on ABC (Alias Broadcasting Company). If you want the recap of the first three seasons before embarking on the fourth (I'll just say for the record that you suck for not watching but at least you're now expressing interest, and that's a great improvement) feel free to come over to my parents' house. We're having a screening on the big screen and my oral recap starts at 8pm. Come eager and willing to learn, and most of all - DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT TALKING DURING THE SHOW. It's like talking in church... I imagine it isn't done.

Feel free to stay after 11pm when I watch it again on TiVo. Cause it's gonna be that good.

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I left my purse at the movie theatre the other day. Downtown Hollywood and I just walk away from my purse. How dumb is that? Not only were my wallet, cell phone, and car keys in there... so was my digital camera. Luckily for me, I went to the movie with Loren. The day before my unbelievable stupidity Loren found a purse in a parking lot and turned it in. So when I went to check with lost and found, I found that someone had done the same for me. I guess I used up Loren's good purse karma. Hopefully she won't need it anytime soon.

Ryan recently decided that he would be a nice driver. You know those jerks who drive on the shoulder so that they can cut in further down the highway and skip all the traffic? The guys who you curse and hope they are never allowed to merge? Ryan lets them in. We went shopping the Sunday before Christmas at the Glendale Galleria. This shopping center was so freaking busy that not only did they have cones set up and people directing traffic, they also had police officers in the streets surrounding the parking structures in order to keep everything running smoothly. We had been waiting in line to get into the structure for about five minutes when we were two cars away from the entrance. This jerk came up in the median and tried to nose in front of us. I, of course, started getting angry. What makes this guy so superior that he doesn't have to wait in line or abide by the laws of traffic like the rest of us? Who does he think he is? And if he even thinks for a second that we will forfeit our coveted spot and let this a-hole in he is gravely... yeah. Then Ryan waves him in front of us.

Allie: What the hell do you think you're doing? That guy didn't wait in line! He's going to take our spot now. There's going to be a spot that opens up that should have been ours that now this jerk gets because you have this stupid new "be nice" policy! I didn't sign on for this! I don't want to wait another half hour because you have no mean side!
Ryan: Don't worry.
Allie: What? Don't worry? We've been waiting five minutes just to get off the freaking street! The line of cars is so long that I can't even see the end of it! We have to wait for the shoppers to come out one by one!
Ryan: It will all work out. Just watch. We're going to get a spot that we wouldn't have gotten because I let this guy in front of us.
Allie: Yeah, right. And I'm Santa Clause.
[A man with shopping bags walks between us and The Jerk and proceeds to signal to Ryan that he'll be leaving and taking his Land Rover with the front row parking spot with him.]
Ryan: This year I'd like a flat screen monitor for my computer.

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Well Dave and Loren weren’t too happy about the pictures I posted of them. They insist that I repost so that you can see the true them, and not the individuals portrayed in the other unfortunate snapshots. When browsing my photographs to find pictures that captured the essence of Dave, I happened across this little gem:



Now there is Dave in a nutshell. (Yes that's him wielding the shovel.)

Or maybe you can just see them as the cute team they are:



But if you want to see something cool, check this out:



I have finished with my duties as “Production Designer.” You might wonder what exactly a Production Designer does… I wonder that myself. I think I was more of a glorified Production Assistant… but I’ll take the killer title. Now I just have to research that and figure out how to manipulate that into what I actually did. Ah, the life of Hollywood.

I’m sick. I’m not going to lie to you – it’s not pretty. We shot the other day from 1pm to 5am and when I got home (and after we walked poor cooped up Clio) I found that I felt like crap. When I woke up the next morning to go to work, I found that I still felt like crap. And today – wait for it – I still feel like crap. I can only breathe through one nostril, and the other one is a faucet. My throat hurts and I’m slightly nauseous. Whine whine, bitch bitch.

So, on Tuesday it was potluck day at the set and Ryan and I made Crunchy Cabbage Salad (yum!) and brought some fruit salad. As we were walking to the car we saw Shelley (Patti’s neighbor who hired me as a PA for the Celebrity Award Ceremony) and we were chatting with her as we walked. Then, all of a sudden I felt something under my foot and – boom! I was down for the count and the fruit salad had gone flying. I had stepped on a twig and it rolled right out from under me. It might as well have been a rollerskate. My back and my elbow are all scraped up and I think Shelley is now questioning my motor skills.

…And I’m rambling.

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I was at the grocery store today, sifting through the green onions, when the sprinklers came on. Usually you hear a little warning noise first, to let you know to get the hell out of the way… but apparently this particular produce aisle didn’t feel the need to alert the shoppers. Anyway, it sprayed me and I let out a little yelp of surprise. The old lady next to me (cucumbers) did the same. Then she shook her head and said, “They think spraying keeps the vegetables longer. If it did, my refrigerator would spit at me!”

Ryan and I had one of the worst dining experiences ever when we had dinner at Red Robin last night. The food was fine, but the people in the booth two down from us were horrible. It was some lady and her 8-9 year old son, and another couple and their 2-year-old boy. The young boy (we shall call him Christopher, for that was his name) was standing on the booth leaning on his father’s shoulder and attempting to put his dad’s dog tag over his head. The older boy (we shall call him Shut Up, for that was his name) was holding his mother’s picture phone and trying to get Christopher to smile for the picture. He did this by yelling “Christopher!” repeatedly and at the top of his lungs. I swear on everything holy he yelled that name straight for at least a minute and little Christopher (as well as the three adults at the table) were taking no notice. I think perhaps Christopher had a hearing problem, or just enough common sense to ignore the older boy. Finally, the mother yelled, “Shut up, he’s not going to look at you!” This only made Shut Up pause briefly, before continuing to shout. After a while, Christopher tired of the dog tag and went to look at the carousel horses that were precariously balanced on a ledge across from their booth. Shut up took this to mean that Christopher wanted to ride the horses. He dismounted from the booth and went over to the horses, one of them a foot of the floor, the other about three feet off the floor, and started shaking them to test their sturdiness. I thought this was wise of young Shut Up. I thought perhaps he cared about the well being of Christopher and would not subject his friend to the horrors of the incredibly rickety shell of a horse. Instead, upon finding that the horse was far from sturdy, he shouted, “Look Christopher! It rocks!” Like somehow this would make the ride more enjoyable. As Shut Up repeated the little boy’s name at an impressively piercing volume, the three adults (amazingly impassive up until this point) look over to the shouting boy and his mother yelled, “Shut Up!” No “stop rocking the precariously balanced horse” or “don’t touch that” or “please sit back down you’re causing a scene” – just “Shut Up” and then she went back to dining. Tired of the horses, Christopher decided to go to the empty booth that separated us from them and sit peacefully. Shut Up decided to jump on the both, stand there and play with the light fixture. As he shouted “Christopher! Christopher look!” the mother once again took time out of her busy schedule to pay attention to her child-run-amuck and shout, “Don’t touch that! It will electrocute you!” At least she’s concerned for his safety.

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Due to popular demand (read: my mom and Dave) I am going to write a little blog about work thus far.

First, I will introduce the players. And by players, of course, I mean the crew. (What? You thought I meant the talent??)

. Tim (aka: Pound Sign).
Tim is the Director of Photography (DP). He is the be all and end all of badassness. He’s a senior at USC and you sure as hell wouldn’t know it. It’s like he’s been doing this all his life. He may be short and almost a year younger than me, but he’s got guns like Rambo and a heart of gold.

. Loren.
Loren is the Producer. Which, in this particular production, means that she does everything. And by everything, I mean every single thing. She cooks, she cleans, she produces, she’s wardrobe, all the shopping and set dressing… I can’t even begin to list all the things she is in charge of. Plus, she’s wicked cool.

. Carrie.
Carrie rocks my world. She’s a graduate of UNCW (which you will always be reminded of because every piece of clothing she owns has those four letters on them) and has come to Hollywood to be… everything. She writes scripts, she produces, she directs, she’s a gaffer, she’s even been known to be a mean c-stand (see picture.) In this production she’s the Assistant Director and cracker of whips.

. Anna.
Anna is the 2nd DP. She’s a southern girl who has come out west to go to USC. She’s incredibly nice and incredibly hot – and frankly, it’s just not fair.

. Jim
Jim is the Sound. He does everything sound in this production. No assistants for him. Oh no, this man needs no assistance. He’s a British bloke who says “cheers” instead of thanks, likes to flash the peace sign, and when he finds a wig, he puts it on. Or stuffs it in his shirt. That’s also fun.

. Dave.
Oh, Dave. What to say… Dave is the Director. He’s pretty cool.

The movie is entitled Clique. It will soon be found at www.cliquemovie.com (but not yet!). It’s the story of some high school kids, who, after talking briefly with their awesome and super cool friend “Allie” go off to a deceased grandmother’s house for some weekend fun. And the killing begins...

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Okay. I don't have the energy or the conviction to write a post right now, but in order to satisfy your craving for you daily dose of Allie... here are some pictures from the set. This is Slate-Allie. I have many other names, but none are quite as easy to photograph (or maybe I'm just lazy).





This pic was taken at the top of a stairway and was much more impressive of a set up in person, I swear. The guy with the camera is Tim, the guy with the weird look on his face is Nick.

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Over Thanksgiving Ryan and I made a new best friend. She’s Ryan’s three-year-old cousin from Arizona. Her name is Kailey, she’s wicked cool, and she likes Dora the Explorer and Disney Princesses. Here is a conversation that took place while we were jumping on her trampoline:

(Picture, if you will, a tree with large yellow fruits growing on it.)

Allie: Kailey, are those oranges?
Kailey: Sure are!
Allie: Are you sure? They look a little too yellow to be oranges. Maybe they’re lemons?
Kailey: Mmm hmm. Yep, they are!
Allie: But they’re a little big. I think they might be grapefruits.
Kailey: Yep, sure are!

Little kids are the cutest. Before she would start talking she would take these big breaths and then construct the longest run-on sentences that I have ever strained to make-out. The best were her responses of “Sure do!” or “Sure can’t!” and all possible variations. She was always so positive… ah. I miss her.

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Ryan: Our first day finished. Well, your second day. My first day.
Allie: Word.
Ryan: That was pretty cool. I looked wickedly creepy.
Allie: Word.
Ryan: I had no idea that my character was going to be that over the edge.
Allie: Word.
Ryan: I’m guessing you find it entertaining that by changing your inflection you can change the meaning of the word “word.”
Allie: Word!
Ryan: This is going to be one of those conversations, isn’t it?
Allie: Word.
Ryan: Okay. Anyway, speaking of looking freaky – how nasty was that woman at McDonalds?
Allie: Word.
Ryan: Who told her it was cool to shave your eyebrows completely off and then draw them in with a single pencil line? And it makes it especially disturbing is that the line is way above where her eyebrows should be so it makes her face looks all warped and discolored.
Allie: Word.
Ryan: I love you, you know that right?
Allie: Word.
Ryan: Then know that I say this because I care about you.
Allie: Word.
Ryan: If you say “word” one more time I’m going to shave off your eyebrows and draw them back on.
Allie: Bitchin.

.

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I know, I know. You didn't see me. I did! I saw me! It wasn't glorious, and it was everything Danny warned me it would be (namely a disappointment and slight embarassment) but what's done is done. If you taped it (as I advised you to do) you can rewind to about thirty minutes into the show. The bar scene opens and I am in the back left wearing a shirt that looks like it's white, carrying a tray around the pool table. I'm sure you all saw Ryan playing pool! (He's famous.) But my "big" scene is later (about fifty minutes in). When Rory and the guy with the orange shirt are walking down the street on their way to the cab, they stop to talk. Ryan crosses behind them "drunk" and then I cross in a big yellow jacket. THAT WAS ME. Rewind and pause. It's like I'm the star.

Well, you will notice that I write this at six in the morning. Most of you will assume that it is because I have not slept yet. Well, in this particular case, you're wrong. I'm actually up, showered and have already dried my hair. I know, I know. I can't believe it either. But the film starts shooting today. I don't remember if I've mentioned it, and I don't have time to surf old posts so I'll just say that it's an independent feature-length film that Ryan is a lead in and I'm the Production Designer. (Although due to an unreasonable amount of "like" on the part of the director and producer, I may just end up in the film with some lines as well.)

Okay, more on that later. LA traffic is my mortal enemy and I must go combat her. *Flexes newly discovered driving muscles and cajones (can you flex cajones?)*

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