Thud

Here’s the deal.

I have a little problem, and I’m unsure of the proper course of action. I figured I’d poll the audience.

So, my neighbors… are bunnies. Rabidly humping bunnies. This would not necessarily be a problem for me, were she not a screamer. And by screamer I mean that she emits the kind of cry you were sure was reserved for life and death situations or hard-core porn.

[Example]

Woman: Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. OH GOD!
Headboard: Thud. Thud. Thud.
Man: Ohhh…
Headboard: Thud. Thud. Thud, thud, thud, thud…
Woman: Harder! Harder! [A/N: No, I’m not kidding.]
Headboard: Thud, thud, thud, thud…
Woman: Oh god. Oh god. Oh god oh god! YES!
Headboard: Thud. Thud. Thud. THUDTHUDTHUDTHUD…
Woman: OHGODOHGODOHGODOHGOD!!!

[/end Example]

This is no exaggeration. In the past three days I have experienced this four times, plus the one time that they did it in the shower. Which was the same, minus the thuds.

The man is a little on the quiet side. In fact, the first time, I was a little concerned that the woman was… well… you know. It wasn’t until quite late in the game that I actually heard a guttural moan that was a little too husky to be Señora-Screams-A-Lot.

Now, as I see it, my options are thus:

1) Go to the manager and have him request that they move the headboard a little further from the wall.
2) Slip a note under the door that reads, “Please just cover her mouth next time.”
3) Next time they’re going at it, pound my fists against the wall and shout, “This is God, now shut the f*** up!”

None of these options would make friends.