Lauren, don't look.

If you've ever eaten my homemade cuisine, you know that if the grater is involved the cuisine becomes more along the lines of "hand-crafted." Cheese, carrots, cucumbers - they typically come with a side of finger. I don't know how it happens, but I'd say at least a quarter of the times I bring out that shinning, metal death trap I lose a little something. Same goes for the peeler. (I'm convinced that's why humans evolved with fingernails. They're like shields!) Ryan won't let me use either item when he's in the house. It's just safer that way.

Today I made a further step in the direction of "world's worst housewife" when I managed to disable myself with the vacuum. I was lifting it up to get it over a cord and the dang thing actually sucked up my toes. It didn't feel like roses.

I think this is just a sign that chores + Allie leads to violence. I should probably not get out of bed anymore. Or I should hire a maid and a chef.