Sure. Un-Sure.

For all of you who wonder what I would do if I actually saw Michael Vartan, I can tell you. I’d flip out, pee my pants, and die of heart failure.

Ryan and I were at The Cheesecake Factory, seated at a two-person booth in a row of similar booths. After our waiter introduced himself to us as Chadwick, he moved to the couple behind me. The gentleman and I were back to back and he was dining with a young lady. Ryan and I were minding our own business, munching (conservatively) on the free sourdough bread when my ears perked up. My ears only perk up at things involving/related to/concerning Alias, of course, so the particular trigger in this case was, predictably, “Jennifer Garner.” When the name crossed the waiter’s lips, I told Ryan to shush and strained to hear the conversation. Regrettably, the only person I could hear was said waiter, and I only heard parts of what he was saying. This is what I caught:

“…the one with Jennifer Garner?”
“I haven’t seen it on. Is it still running?”
“…Sunday nights. I’ll have to set my TiVo.”

After hearing this, I began trying to figure out why C-Dub-Diggity* would talk to these patrons about Alias. The only logical conclusion, like duh, is that these people are somehow involved with the show. While whispering with Ryan, he confirmed what I already held in my heart to be true - the waiter must have recognized one of them. Why else would they talk about the show? From Ry’s viewpoint he could see the lady – no one he recognized. So, we decided it must be the guy. My back was to him, and his back was to us, so we were really shit out of luck. Not one to pass up the opportunity to spot an Alias star, I wrenched my neck around and “casually” looked across the restaurant. I caught mystery man just as he was turning, and saw a brief flash of his profile. What did I see???? A hook nose!

At this point I started hyperventilating and informed Ryan that he had to go check it out… go to the bathroom or something. He stood up, and after realizing that the restrooms were in the opposite direction, he decided to take his phone and go outside to “check his messages.” He did so, and I was left at the table, sweating, panting and completely flipping out. I may very well be back-to-back with Michael Vartan. It is during this period that I decided The Cheesecake Factory is my favorite restaurant and I should come to this particular one every day for the rest of my life.

Ryan was taking for-freaking-ever. I didn’t actually expect him to check his messages. I expected him to walk out the door and turn right back so he could walk to our table and ID my back-buddy. I was contemplating calling his cell and telling him to haul his ass back when he returned to the table. I looked at him anxiously, trying to keep my visible shaking to a minimum, when he looked at me sadly and shook his head.

At least I learned a valuable lesson in all this – I am not cut out for celebrity sightings. But I’m still going to actively seek out Vartan. I mean, come on… wouldn’t you?

*Upon finding out that our waiter’s name was Chadwick, I asked Ryan what he could do if he had such a horrid name. I mean, wouldn’t anyone sane just shorten it to Chad? We thought other nicknames that were an improvement were: C-Dawg, C-Diggity, C-Dubba, and, my favorite, C-Dub-Diggity.