Eve-o-lution

Allie: Do you ever wonder about bananas?
Ryan: All the time.
Allie: I mean, they’re so easy to peel. The perfect outside protecting the mushy inside. Edible completely separate from the inedible.
Ryan: Why does that confuse you?
Allie: It just doesn’t make sense. And how does that benefit the banana in any way? It’s not like it can peel itself to spread its seed.
Ryan: That sort of thing doesn’t really bother me.
Allie: It doesn’t bother you?
Ryan: It’s a matter of convenience.
Allie: How is that convenient for the fruit itself?
Ryan: You damn evolutionist, you.
Allie: Are you telling me that you believe the banana is so easily peelable because that’s the way God made it?
Ryan: Yup. He wanted to make it easy to eat.
Allie: Oye.
Ryan: That’s why he didn’t make chickens come plucked and pre-cooked. Because we weren’t supposed to eat animals.
Allie: Oh no. You’re telling me that not only are you religious, but you’re also a vegetarian?
Ryan: No.
Allie: Wait, but I though we weren’t supposed to eat animals.
Ryan: That was before Eve ate the apple. We’re clear now.
Allie: Okay, granted, I don’t know the story that well… but I feel like I would have heard the part where God told “Eve” that she could chow down on her furry friends.
Ryan: The bible doesn’t go in depth so much when it comes to the progression of eating. But they didn’t eat animals before the apple, and they did after.
Allie: How do you know that? Does it say that somewhere?
Ryan: God told me.
Allie: Did he speak through George W? Because I must say, I don’t think he’s as much of a direct conduit as he claims.
Ryan: If he is a conduit, someone needs to talk to God about raising his standards.
Allie: And why don’t we talk to America about that while we’re at it.
Ryan: I’m on it. Can I finish my beefstick now?
Allie: Go ahead, my child. Go ahead.