Look Away, I Dare You

I was given the most loveliest gift ever: the crack!star.

The crack!star is a magical toy that plays music, flashes bright colors and, apparently, sends super-stealth mind waves straight to the brain of my baby boy that say: GIGGLE, DAMNIT.

The crack!star looks like a happy face that's been rolling back prices in the Halloween aisle of Walmart, but don't let its clownish appearance fool you. This is a sophisticated, incredibly intelligent device that was finely crafted by the greatest minds of our time.

When placed beneath the crack!star, Cael cannot look away. Literally. It's actually sort of frightening the pull this thing has over him. If he's screaming and the star comes into view, 90% of the time he will instantly stop crying and start laughing. Tongue sticking out, eyes bright, hands waving, full out hysterical laughter. I've tried lying underneath the crack!star, and I've gotta say, I don't see what's so appealing about it. I have no trouble playing with the other toys that hang from the play mat - in particular I'm fond of the sun with beads - but Cael couldn't tear his eyes away from the star if his young life depended on it. Even when the novelty has worn off or the diaper sogginess has reached critical levels and the giggles have turned to sobs - he still won't look away. His little head will be turning from side to side in distress, but his eyes are GLUED to the lights. It's amazing.

Even if it's not sending the subliminal messages I'm convinced it is, I worry that setting him down and subjecting him to the crack!star is like plopping a ten year old in front of the tv. I feel like I just might be corroding his mind and turning him into a prematurely addicted child of the video game generation, where nothing but rapidly flashing graphics will hold his interest and there will be no way of tearing him from them without actually severing a limb.

...But then I remember that it was made by Baby Einstein, that the music is classical, and that it's really nice to be able to take a shower without having to jump out with shampoo in my hair because Cael finally realized he wasn't being held.