As my loyal readers, you will recall my earlier post regarding my distaste for horror movies. That distaste still stands. Although, I did watch another one. Why? Because Matt is relentless. This is EXACTLY how I got talked into watching it. You can ask Matt. He'll verify. Besides, we all know I only speak the truth. Well, okay... but I'm speaking the truth now. It is as if there were a court reporter. Matt: We’re going...

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The glass door swings open unceremoniously and she is immediately swallowed by an all too familiar smell. As it fills her nostrils she fights the reflexive urge to heave. She wonders briefly why people are compelled to seek out this smell. Why so many people find it calming, even comforting. How so many people manage to inhale it without retching. She expels the air from her lungs in an effort...

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My sophomore year in college, I decided I wanted to have a smell. You know how certain smells remind you of certain people? Like when someone breezes by you wearing a particular cologne and as soon as it hits your nose you are struck with memories of a particular individual… I wanted that. I wanted people to think of me when they smelled something good. So I went to the perfume counter and tested...

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Because of lack of desktop space paired with my tendency to use my computer up until the point of total and utter exhaustion, I don’t store my laptop on a counter. Instead, I place it on the floor beside the bed. A while ago, Ryan stepped on it by accident, breaking my USB port clean off. He felt horrible, and went to buy me an adapter, so that I would not miss my now dysfunctional port. He’s...

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Sometimes when I’m feeling low I like to watch Mamut. I find that the immaturity of it all is like someone farting in class. Short, sweet and embarrassingly funny. I was not in the highest of spirits today, but after one viewing of the online cartoon I felt instantly cheered. Woot woot for the Mamut. I think everyone should have a Mamut… something that instantly brings you happiness. Mine is...

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Ryan and I were driving to Kinko’s last night, unaware that it was “bad driver night” here in LA. Bring me your crazies, psychos and just plain oblivious masses… and put them behind the wheel. Holy buckets, we saw three very close calls in the five-minute drive to the photocopy superstore. So, when we parked and exited the car I was not surprised to be bombarded by the shrill honking of countless horns. As I walked to the...

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When I’m frustrated with the options under the “entertainment” section of the classified ads, I click “display all” on the off chance that some fabulous job that I have yet to consider will jump out and bite me. This has yet to happen. I do notice, however that 9/10 jobs are in marketing and advertising. I think that they should cease this effort to increase their workforce. These people obviously...

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Last night I got another glimpse into the life of a citizen of Los Angeles coping with the rain. It’s not a pretty picture, my friends - not pretty at all. Let’s take for example, the lady at Ralphs. It was pouring down rain, I will admit. Okay, her hair was nice and dry – this is also true. But even when I put these two things together I can't find a reason for her to do what she did. Standing...

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Alright. I retract my earlier post. Please, stay off the roads… it’s raining out there. It seems that when they constructed this angelic little city they didn’t account for the prospect of rain. Due to what I can only assume was poor planning and sub-par construction – the streets are hell when wet. The arc of the pavement sends all of the water rushing to the sides where it piles up alongside...

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Batten down the hatches! Hide the children! Run for cover! Save yourselves!!! It’s… it’s… IT’S RAINING! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Well, shiver me timbers. Am I wrong to assume that Los Angeles has seen rain before? 'Cause I had thought they saw the odd drop or two, but from the sounds of the news anchors, it seems as though this is a foreign thing for them. They’re declaring storm warnings and warning us of the hazards of driving....

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Big news, dear readers! Big news! Five celebrity sightings for today – count them, five! Star: David Spade Role: CJ, 8 Simple Rules Number of Sightings: One Shortest Distance from Allie: One foot Details: Mr. Spade was walking through the door of Stage 6 at the same time as Ryan, Matt and I were. He was speaking heatedly on his cellular phone. We sat on the bench outside the door and he proceeded...

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Alright... this is neither humorous, entertaining, nor is it offensive to the ruler of the free world -but frankly, I'm just not inspired.However, I did just get back from an awesome experience that I wanted to share. I went to a place called the "Hotel Cafe" in Hollywood. It's a hole in the wall place that costs $6 to get into. We went at 7:30 and were the second group of people there... so we got...

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Since I don’t want to turn this into a political blog, and since I know little about politics… I’ll just focus on what’s important – the superficial. Dodge the hard issues and get to what really matters – George’s big fat mistakes. (On a personal note - I won't hate you if you like Bush. The question is, will you hate me?)Was anyone else distracted by the large blob of spit that had accumulated and...

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Allie: If you were a bell, would you go “ding dong ding dong ding”? Ryan: I suppose. What else do bells do? Allie: They toll. Ryan: But how does one toll? Allie: Good point. Ryan: So, speaking of bells… how do you think Tinkerbell got her name? Allie: I’m sorry? Ryan: It’s a valid question. Allie: Valid, perhaps. Strange, most definitely. Ryan: Does this mean you’re not answering? [Pause] Allie: Maybe...

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So I was in the mood for ice cream last night, and I found that all we had was vanilla. Which, under normal circumstances, would be fine. Normal circumstances, of course, meaning that there was chocolate sauce in the fridge. These, however, were not normal circumstances. I’m not one for eating plain vanilla. Something about it just doesn’t sit well with me. I think it might have something to...

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So, in my continued effort to increase my slothiness, I decided to try drugstore.com – rather than haul my ass to a Rite Aid. And let me just say, why did I not try this earlier??? This little site is a fabulous invention! Not only is my prescription $12 bucks cheaper a month (which will really add up) but it comes to me in the mail! I don’t even have to leave the house. Go, people! Flock to drugstore.com...

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NO NO NO NO NO. I just spent at least half an hour typing up a blog and then I pressed 'publish' and it disappeared! NO!!!!!!!! I just might cry. It was pretty freaking funny too. I had Ryan in stitches. I don't think I have the strength to recreate.Well, you’re not going to get the good version. I’ll just warn you. You’re getting whatever I have the energy left to hack up…Driving in Los Angeles is...

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Allie: I want to blog, but I've got nothing to say. Ryan: Then don't blog. Allie: How utterly predictable. Ryan: Ass. Allie: No cussing. Children might be reading. Ryan: I can see it now - children pushing each other out of the way, running from the playground in a mad rush to read your blog. Allie: Ass. Ryan: Ah, ah, ah... the kiddies. Allie: My bad. So, anyway... Ryan: Let me guess....

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Well, that was incredibly disappointing. No ALIAS filming on the lot today. I guess I'll have to keep waiting. You just hold on, Michael - we'll be together soon. I thought I saw Jesus in the mall today. Turned out to be a koi pond. My bad. Still unemployed. What is up with people wanting 3-5 years experience? What about the newbies? Nobody wants me, everyboy hates me, I guess I'll go eat the boxed...

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First things first. I'd like to state profusely that I am not looking at real estate. I get uncomfortable paying for groceries. There's no way I'd put money in a house right now. I'm starting to get seriously concerned here. People keep asking me what I do all day. They ask me if I spend it 'looking for work.' Is that possible? Is there a more active way to do this? Cause I put in my time reading...

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Day five is coming to a close, and still no job for the alliemeister. That's right. I know you all were expecting me to be employed by now, but it looks like that ain't gonna happen. I have been reading the classifieds, monster.com, craigslist.com and careerbuilder.com and I can safely say that there are no jobs out there. Perhaps it would be helpful if I knew what type of job I'm looking for. Then...

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Well, folks... I have arrived. We'll get to that in a minute, but first - the drive.Things to keep in mind when driving to Los Angeles:1) Just because everyone around you is going ninety, doesn't mean you can.2) That whole 'patrolled by aircraft' sign is for real. They're out there, and they're watching you.3) Handy-Snacks aren't so handy when trying to operate an automobile.4) Always be prepared...

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