What's In A Name?

Allie: If you were a bell, would you go “ding dong ding dong ding”?
Ryan: I suppose. What else do bells do?
Allie: They toll.
Ryan: But how does one toll?
Allie: Good point.
Ryan: So, speaking of bells… how do you think Tinkerbell got her name?
Allie: I’m sorry?
Ryan: It’s a valid question.
Allie: Valid, perhaps. Strange, most definitely.
Ryan: Does this mean you’re not answering?
[Pause]
Allie: Maybe she took too long to potty train.
Ryan: Answer, perhaps. Smartass, most definitely.
Allie: Can I get a verdict on that one?
Judge1: No, you’re not a smartass.
Judge2: Definitely not a smartass.
Judge3: You’re beautiful.
Allie: Thank you. Dismissed.
[Exit Judges]
Ryan: Oh, like those votes weren’t purchased!
Allie: Are you accusing me of something, Mr. Carty?
Ryan: Do sailors swab decks?
Allie: I would perhaps be better qualified to answer that if I knew what it meant to ‘swab’. You mean like a cotton swab? Are you asking me if sailors clean the earwax off decks? Cause if that’s the case – then no. I don’t believe they do.
[From the next state a voice is heard]
Lauren: Did I hear something about sailors?
Allie: Isn’t it funny how we can see her drooling from here?
Ryan: I can’t blame her. There’s just something about dress whites that gets a girl all hot and bothered.
[Lauren and Allie raise a collective eyebrow]
Ryan: I… uh… er…I’ve got to go. My video game buddies are calling me.
[Exit Ryan]
Allie: Great. My chatting partner is gone. What do I talk about?
Lauren: I think you need to talk about the bane of your existence.
Allie: Cankles?
Lauren: No. The anonymous reviewer
Allie: Dude. What is up with that person? Or is it multiple people? Or, are they all Ryan just trying to be nice to me?
Lauren: … which is a very plausible option.
Allie: Very.
Lauren: But let’s assume for a moment that it’s not him. Why would someone have something that they thought was important enough to say, yet fail to be held accountable?
Allie: That's what I’m saying.
[Silence]
Allie: Do you think I could smoke them out? Or should I not discourage them – cause anonymous or not, I do enjoy them?
Lauren: Hmm. Let us hypothesize.
Allie: Yes, let us.
Lauren: Then, when we discover the source or their trepidation, we can take remedial measures.
Allie: Brilliant!
Lauren: Thank you.
Allie: You’re welcome.
Lauren: Okay, so… why? Why would one do this?
Allie: Perhaps to be nice, while at the same time not drawing attention to themselves.
Lauren: Why not draw attention to themselves?
Allie: Yes... If they were flaming me, I could see their reasons for anonymity, but positive feedback is not a thing to hide.
Lauren: Who is this mystery person? One would assume they are already on the short list of people you feel comfortable enough with to actually give this site address to.
Allie: One would assume.
Lauren: It's not a random passerby, nor is it a talent scout – bummer.
Allie: Bummer indeed.
Lauren: And so the question remains…
Allie: Who is it?
Lauren: …and what are they hiding? I mean, for heaven’s sake, I have the guts to call Ryan out and still post my name.
Allie: Not that you haven't called him out to his face – but point taken.
Lauren: How many seconds do you think my finger held poised over the enter button on that one?
Allie: I’m going to go with none.
Lauren: Anonymous or named; anonymous or named…
Allie: Well, let's look at the bright side. At least this situation has taught me how to spell the word 'anonymous'.
[Silence]
Allie: You really don’t think the muffin joke is funny?
Lauren: No. No, I don’t.
Allie: Maybe you have to hear it again.
Lauren: No. No, I don’t.
Allie: So there are these two muffins in an oven…