English? Not my only language. And because this post was such a hit (totally need a sarcasm font) I thought I'd write another installment. Because there's more than one way to speak geek.
Languages to Master:
Spanish
Smalltalk
Special note: Fangirl is a language that is not intended to be spoken. Attempts at speaking will reflect poorly on the mental state of the guilty party. This is a text language, yo.
Let us begin with highlighting the differences between Fangirl and Video Nerd. First off -- and perhaps most important -- is the emote. Due to the nature of online conversing, emotion/actions must be expressed through text rather than inflection or physical representation. Thus, the 'emote' was born. As I have mentioned before, in the online gaming industry the emote is denoted with a backslash: /hides. In the wonderful world of Unhealthy Obsession with Fiction, the emote is indicated by the presence of asterisks: *hides*. The most common emotes: *head desk* and *face palm*.
Also, though Fangirl does frequently make use of intentional misspelling, I have found that grammar isn't something so blatantly ignored. "i r teh suck" wouldn't really fly with the gals. We're an "I am" kind of people.
Perhaps because screaming fangirls rarely stop to take a breath, it is also very common in this form of conversing to smash words together. Really, any old words will do. However, there are some commonly reused smooshes and you can never go wrong if you start it with 'omgwtf.' Omgwtfstopitnow.
Along the same lines as the smooshing is the exclamation point. This is used to tie words together and create a new subject in and of itself. For example, the image conjured when Lauren thinks of Joe Flanigan in a wetsuit needs its own name. Thus: Scuba!Joe is born.
Fangirls have been known to make verbs out of words that aren't (and sometimes out of names). For example, if Fred stated the obvious it would be referred to as 'obviousing'... and if he did it allthetimeomg it would begin to be referred to as Freding. Or, if Tiffany yelled "faster, Allie, come on!" during our workout sessions I would say that she had Laurened me.
Anyway, blah blah. Lets get some vocab.
wibble
v.
Frequently used in the emote form, *wibble* is the state of being overcome with emotion. Balancing on the brink of tears.
like whoa
adj.
To the extreme.
example: Joe Flanigan is sexy like whoa.
oh noes
excl.
Pretty much the same as "Oh no!" Used to express dismay.
squee
excl.
The cornerstone of Fangirldom, squee is the word put to the sound of the gleeful girlie squeak. Imagine the noise I'd make if Michael Vartan stopped and asked me for directions. That is a squee.
Now, make sure you're alone. This isn't something you're going to want to do in public. As I have previously stated, should someone catch you verbalizing Fangirl you will be humiliated. You think it sounds ridiculous in print just wait until you walk in on someone squeeing.
Okay, once the coast is clear, get out of your chair and jump up and down several times. Throw in a girlie clap or two. Think of something very exciting. Now, squeal "zomg[whatever you're thinking]" without taking a break between words. Try thinking of something that would surprise/disturb you. Throw a "wtfbbq" before it. Something that makes you sad: "ohnoes" is the preface you're looking for.
Now, slap your palm on your forehead.
Congratulations. You are now an honorary fangirl. Go ahead, make your name a verb.
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