TiVo. And they expect me to go back to regular TV? Nuh uh! This thing is the best invention since fanfiction. Never have I been so entertained. I watch what I want to watch, when I want to watch it and I don't have to sit through commercials? Sign me up! Uh, I mean... let me get a job first, and then perhaps an apartment... and a television... and some extra cash - then sign me up! Woo hoo! This...

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I left my purse at the movie theatre the other day. Downtown Hollywood and I just walk away from my purse. How dumb is that? Not only were my wallet, cell phone, and car keys in there... so was my digital camera. Luckily for me, I went to the movie with Loren. The day before my unbelievable stupidity Loren found a purse in a parking lot and turned it in. So when I went to check with lost and...

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Well Dave and Loren weren’t too happy about the pictures I posted of them. They insist that I repost so that you can see the true them, and not the individuals portrayed in the other unfortunate snapshots. When browsing my photographs to find pictures that captured the essence of Dave, I happened across this little gem:Now there is Dave in a nutshell. (Yes that's him wielding the shovel.)Or maybe you can just see them as the...

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I was at the grocery store today, sifting through the green onions, when the sprinklers came on. Usually you hear a little warning noise first, to let you know to get the hell out of the way… but apparently this particular produce aisle didn’t feel the need to alert the shoppers. Anyway, it sprayed me and I let out a little yelp of surprise. The old lady next to me (cucumbers) did the same. Then...

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Due to popular demand (read: my mom and Dave) I am going to write a little blog about work thus far.First, I will introduce the players. And by players, of course, I mean the crew. (What? You thought I meant the talent??). Tim (aka: Pound Sign).Tim is the Director of Photography (DP). He is the be all and end all of badassness. He’s a senior at USC and you sure as hell wouldn’t know it. It’s like he’s been doing this all...

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Okay. I don't have the energy or the conviction to write a post right now, but in order to satisfy your craving for you daily dose of Allie... here are some pictures from the set. This is Slate-Allie. I have many other names, but none are quite as easy to photograph (or maybe I'm just lazy).This pic was taken at the top of a stairway and was much more impressive of a set up in person, I swear. The guy with the camera is Tim,...

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Over Thanksgiving Ryan and I made a new best friend. She’s Ryan’s three-year-old cousin from Arizona. Her name is Kailey, she’s wicked cool, and she likes Dora the Explorer and Disney Princesses. Here is a conversation that took place while we were jumping on her trampoline: (Picture, if you will, a tree with large yellow fruits growing on it.) Allie: Kailey, are those oranges? Kailey: Sure are! Allie: Are you sure?...

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Ryan: Our first day finished. Well, your second day. My first day.Allie: Word.Ryan: That was pretty cool. I looked wickedly creepy.Allie: Word.Ryan: I had no idea that my character was going to be that over the edge.Allie: Word.Ryan: I’m guessing you find it entertaining that by changing your inflection you can change the meaning of the word “word.”Allie: Word!Ryan: This is going to be one of those conversations, isn’t...

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I know, I know. You didn't see me. I did! I saw me! It wasn't glorious, and it was everything Danny warned me it would be (namely a disappointment and slight embarassment) but what's done is done. If you taped it (as I advised you to do) you can rewind to about thirty minutes into the show. The bar scene opens and I am in the back left wearing a shirt that looks like it's white, carrying a tray...

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Allie: Did you hear the news? Ryan: Most likely. [Silence] Allie: That’s it? Ryan: What’s what? Allie: That’s the end of the dialogue? You don’t want to know what the news is? Ryan: I told you, I would assume I already know it. Allie: So you’re not even curious? Ryan: Not really. Allie: You suck. Ryan: I’m sorry. Allie: Does anyone want to know what the news is? Adam: I do. Allie: Yes!...

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I don’t know if it’s just Los Angeles, or just The Cheesecake Factory, but let me tell you – that place is a well-oiled machine. When Ryan and I went there the other night (yes, the faux-Vartan night) we learned first hand their waiting process. First, you go and give them your name. Then, they punch a few numbers in on the computer and they give you one of those plastic doohickeys* that lights...

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Yesterday I donned my background cap and took the set of CBS’ JAG by storm. Oh yes, I worked JAG. (Lauren, please wipe up that drool. We don’t need to see that.) Sadly, however, I did not work with Catherine Bell or David James Elliot. I suppose the best is still yet to come. So now that you know I’m not going to regale you with tales of celebrities (unless you count Bud and his dad, Big Bud,...

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For all of you who wonder what I would do if I actually saw Michael Vartan, I can tell you. I’d flip out, pee my pants, and die of heart failure. Ryan and I were at The Cheesecake Factory, seated at a two-person booth in a row of similar booths. After our waiter introduced himself to us as Chadwick, he moved to the couple behind me. The gentleman and I were back to back and he was dining with...

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Ryan is obsessed. Seriously, he can’t stop. It’s an addiction and I just don’t know what to do about it. He is constantly looking at himself in the mirror. Our closet doors are mirrored and he sits at his computer, or on the bed, or sometimes just stands there and looks at himself. The worst is when we’re sitting and having a conversation – does he look at me? No. Why would he do that when...

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I’ve found my soul mate – it’s Patti. Yes, that’s right. She’ll watch Alias with me. Not only will she watch it, but she will watch numerous episodes in one sitting. Today we watched three (Salvation, The Counteragent and The Passage Part I, for those of you who care – who I am guessing are few). If only Matt didn’t come home and ruin everything. Blast him and his bad taste. I mean, really…...

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Alright. Due to excessive interest, I’m going to tell you about my day as a star. Or, not star. Extra. But that’s as close to a star as I’ve come, and you weren’t there, so you don’t know – therefore I’m going to call myself a star. So there. *Sticks out tongue*Oh, and Ryan was a star too.Okay, for those of you who don’t know, Ryan and I appeared as “background” (the new word for “extra”) on...

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Allie: Do you ever wonder about bananas? Ryan: All the time. Allie: I mean, they’re so easy to peel. The perfect outside protecting the mushy inside. Edible completely separate from the inedible. Ryan: Why does that confuse you? Allie: It just doesn’t make sense. And how does that benefit the banana in any way? It’s not like it can peel itself to spread its seed. Ryan: That sort of thing...

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You’ve got to be shitting me. This is the epitome of patheti-lame. I am seriously feeling nauseous. To 50-odd percent of America I’ve just got to ask – what the hell were you thinking? Take off your blinders and remove your earplugs. The man is an undisputed idiot. And he thinks God talks through him? Well, let me just say I don’t know a thing about God but I would certainly hope that he or...

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I’ve decided I’m not incredibly fond of the monster that I have become. Just call me Lazysaurus. Sure, indolence is a virtue. But I think I need to look into having more than one enviable quality. So, in my effort to perk up my future personal ads, I’ve made some November resolutions.1) Get your lazy good for nothing ass out of bed before 9… or 10. Ten. Definitely ten.2) Though running in bed...

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As my loyal readers, you will recall my earlier post regarding my distaste for horror movies. That distaste still stands. Although, I did watch another one. Why? Because Matt is relentless. This is EXACTLY how I got talked into watching it. You can ask Matt. He'll verify. Besides, we all know I only speak the truth. Well, okay... but I'm speaking the truth now. It is as if there were a court reporter. Matt: We’re going...

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The glass door swings open unceremoniously and she is immediately swallowed by an all too familiar smell. As it fills her nostrils she fights the reflexive urge to heave. She wonders briefly why people are compelled to seek out this smell. Why so many people find it calming, even comforting. How so many people manage to inhale it without retching. She expels the air from her lungs in an effort...

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My sophomore year in college, I decided I wanted to have a smell. You know how certain smells remind you of certain people? Like when someone breezes by you wearing a particular cologne and as soon as it hits your nose you are struck with memories of a particular individual… I wanted that. I wanted people to think of me when they smelled something good. So I went to the perfume counter and tested...

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Because of lack of desktop space paired with my tendency to use my computer up until the point of total and utter exhaustion, I don’t store my laptop on a counter. Instead, I place it on the floor beside the bed. A while ago, Ryan stepped on it by accident, breaking my USB port clean off. He felt horrible, and went to buy me an adapter, so that I would not miss my now dysfunctional port. He’s...

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Sometimes when I’m feeling low I like to watch Mamut. I find that the immaturity of it all is like someone farting in class. Short, sweet and embarrassingly funny. I was not in the highest of spirits today, but after one viewing of the online cartoon I felt instantly cheered. Woot woot for the Mamut. I think everyone should have a Mamut… something that instantly brings you happiness. Mine is...

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Ryan and I were driving to Kinko’s last night, unaware that it was “bad driver night” here in LA. Bring me your crazies, psychos and just plain oblivious masses… and put them behind the wheel. Holy buckets, we saw three very close calls in the five-minute drive to the photocopy superstore. So, when we parked and exited the car I was not surprised to be bombarded by the shrill honking of countless horns. As I walked to the...

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When I’m frustrated with the options under the “entertainment” section of the classified ads, I click “display all” on the off chance that some fabulous job that I have yet to consider will jump out and bite me. This has yet to happen. I do notice, however that 9/10 jobs are in marketing and advertising. I think that they should cease this effort to increase their workforce. These people obviously...

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Last night I got another glimpse into the life of a citizen of Los Angeles coping with the rain. It’s not a pretty picture, my friends - not pretty at all. Let’s take for example, the lady at Ralphs. It was pouring down rain, I will admit. Okay, her hair was nice and dry – this is also true. But even when I put these two things together I can't find a reason for her to do what she did. Standing...

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Alright. I retract my earlier post. Please, stay off the roads… it’s raining out there. It seems that when they constructed this angelic little city they didn’t account for the prospect of rain. Due to what I can only assume was poor planning and sub-par construction – the streets are hell when wet. The arc of the pavement sends all of the water rushing to the sides where it piles up alongside...

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Batten down the hatches! Hide the children! Run for cover! Save yourselves!!! It’s… it’s… IT’S RAINING! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Well, shiver me timbers. Am I wrong to assume that Los Angeles has seen rain before? 'Cause I had thought they saw the odd drop or two, but from the sounds of the news anchors, it seems as though this is a foreign thing for them. They’re declaring storm warnings and warning us of the hazards of driving....

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Big news, dear readers! Big news! Five celebrity sightings for today – count them, five! Star: David Spade Role: CJ, 8 Simple Rules Number of Sightings: One Shortest Distance from Allie: One foot Details: Mr. Spade was walking through the door of Stage 6 at the same time as Ryan, Matt and I were. He was speaking heatedly on his cellular phone. We sat on the bench outside the door and he proceeded...

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Alright... this is neither humorous, entertaining, nor is it offensive to the ruler of the free world -but frankly, I'm just not inspired.However, I did just get back from an awesome experience that I wanted to share. I went to a place called the "Hotel Cafe" in Hollywood. It's a hole in the wall place that costs $6 to get into. We went at 7:30 and were the second group of people there... so we got...

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Since I don’t want to turn this into a political blog, and since I know little about politics… I’ll just focus on what’s important – the superficial. Dodge the hard issues and get to what really matters – George’s big fat mistakes. (On a personal note - I won't hate you if you like Bush. The question is, will you hate me?)Was anyone else distracted by the large blob of spit that had accumulated and...

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Allie: If you were a bell, would you go “ding dong ding dong ding”? Ryan: I suppose. What else do bells do? Allie: They toll. Ryan: But how does one toll? Allie: Good point. Ryan: So, speaking of bells… how do you think Tinkerbell got her name? Allie: I’m sorry? Ryan: It’s a valid question. Allie: Valid, perhaps. Strange, most definitely. Ryan: Does this mean you’re not answering? [Pause] Allie: Maybe...

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So I was in the mood for ice cream last night, and I found that all we had was vanilla. Which, under normal circumstances, would be fine. Normal circumstances, of course, meaning that there was chocolate sauce in the fridge. These, however, were not normal circumstances. I’m not one for eating plain vanilla. Something about it just doesn’t sit well with me. I think it might have something to...

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So, in my continued effort to increase my slothiness, I decided to try drugstore.com – rather than haul my ass to a Rite Aid. And let me just say, why did I not try this earlier??? This little site is a fabulous invention! Not only is my prescription $12 bucks cheaper a month (which will really add up) but it comes to me in the mail! I don’t even have to leave the house. Go, people! Flock to drugstore.com...

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NO NO NO NO NO. I just spent at least half an hour typing up a blog and then I pressed 'publish' and it disappeared! NO!!!!!!!! I just might cry. It was pretty freaking funny too. I had Ryan in stitches. I don't think I have the strength to recreate.Well, you’re not going to get the good version. I’ll just warn you. You’re getting whatever I have the energy left to hack up…Driving in Los Angeles is...

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